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autumnluv143I had so many ridiculous plans for my time off of school. I'm not even going to rehash them because it makes me sick. I think I am going to always struggle with perpetual laziness. It's not even about what I planned to "do" but other stuff too. I was going to write more. I had alllll these words floating in my head and they never turned into a coherent idea. They still haven't. But seeing as I've been a cranky bitch for more than a month, any form of therapy technique will do right now.
I'm trying not to lose it today. My family is coming over for cabbage for New Year's and I'm so on edge that it won't take much to trigger my bad mood. My dad was even kidding about it this morning and the first words out of my mouth were "Shut the hell up." I'm constantly on the verge of tears and I can't cry. And it's not because I'm necessarily depressed or anything (although that is a small factor). It's more because I'm just so frustrated all the time that I can say and do what I want/need that I want to scream! Discussing meds with my mom alone is enough to make my mostrils start to flare and the hair on my arms stand up. I have to phbysically control myself to keep me from yelling. What a phenomenal way to start off a new year.
Ok, I got one or two things off my chest and I can't think of anything else to write. I don't necessarily feel better but maybe I'll get on the elliptical later and see if that works.
I'm trying not to lose it today. My family is coming over for cabbage for New Year's and I'm so on edge that it won't take much to trigger my bad mood. My dad was even kidding about it this morning and the first words out of my mouth were "Shut the hell up." I'm constantly on the verge of tears and I can't cry. And it's not because I'm necessarily depressed or anything (although that is a small factor). It's more because I'm just so frustrated all the time that I can say and do what I want/need that I want to scream! Discussing meds with my mom alone is enough to make my mostrils start to flare and the hair on my arms stand up. I have to phbysically control myself to keep me from yelling. What a phenomenal way to start off a new year.
Ok, I got one or two things off my chest and I can't think of anything else to write. I don't necessarily feel better but maybe I'll get on the elliptical later and see if that works.
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Date: 2010-01-01 07:03 pm (UTC)