Fun Fun Fun
Jun. 22nd, 2005 08:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
autumnluv143I'm having a FUN party. This weekend. Should be interesting.
That reminds me, I really need to get emails with the driving directions out today if possible.
I even went so far as to have candies made. The sick bitches that are coming should love them.
If any of you are on my list and don't know about it but would like to come on Saturday, please let me know and I will email you with all the information you need. It's in Slidell...yes, I know..bum fucked. Get over it. Like I told someone else...it's about time everyone else drove to me. I've been driving to them for 3 years now. :p
That's out of the way, time for my head ranting. Yes, that's right, once again I'm sitting at work without anything substantial to do (not yet anyway) and I'm treading my own waters.
Last night I had a conversation that made me realize this morning after sleep and thinking (not always a good thing)that all of my fears..the things I keep expecting to go wrong, haven't. I am waiting for them. They always show up and usually much earlier. I get the signs and figure.."Oh, right. Here they come. I was wondering what took them so long." But then I'm always surprised to find out that I'm wrong. My fear about whatever the situation is has not been realized, but rather been squashed. I know, I know..I don't sound happy about this. I am, I really am. However, and I suppose disappointed is too strong of a word, I feel both relief and let down that I'm wrong. That maybe my ego talking, but I guess in the back of my head it would be easier to go back to not having any emotion at all than to have all of this flowing through my brain. And there is...so much.
I want, I want, I want. Daily, that is what I think from time to time all day long. I want this..I want him to do this...etc. On days like this when I decide to be a little introspective, I realize that the reason I never ask for these things is because I truly am happy about it. I'm not unhappy with the decisions he makes, ultimately because I can't find a reason that I need any of those things. They are petty, self-important tidbits that I know I will have eventually, but again..there's that word. The word that can not be associated with me...patience. I will learn patience.
My dedicated mantra for the day. I will have patience today with someone I didn't have patience with yesterday.
That reminds me, I really need to get emails with the driving directions out today if possible.
I even went so far as to have candies made. The sick bitches that are coming should love them.
If any of you are on my list and don't know about it but would like to come on Saturday, please let me know and I will email you with all the information you need. It's in Slidell...yes, I know..bum fucked. Get over it. Like I told someone else...it's about time everyone else drove to me. I've been driving to them for 3 years now. :p
That's out of the way, time for my head ranting. Yes, that's right, once again I'm sitting at work without anything substantial to do (not yet anyway) and I'm treading my own waters.
Last night I had a conversation that made me realize this morning after sleep and thinking (not always a good thing)that all of my fears..the things I keep expecting to go wrong, haven't. I am waiting for them. They always show up and usually much earlier. I get the signs and figure.."Oh, right. Here they come. I was wondering what took them so long." But then I'm always surprised to find out that I'm wrong. My fear about whatever the situation is has not been realized, but rather been squashed. I know, I know..I don't sound happy about this. I am, I really am. However, and I suppose disappointed is too strong of a word, I feel both relief and let down that I'm wrong. That maybe my ego talking, but I guess in the back of my head it would be easier to go back to not having any emotion at all than to have all of this flowing through my brain. And there is...so much.
I want, I want, I want. Daily, that is what I think from time to time all day long. I want this..I want him to do this...etc. On days like this when I decide to be a little introspective, I realize that the reason I never ask for these things is because I truly am happy about it. I'm not unhappy with the decisions he makes, ultimately because I can't find a reason that I need any of those things. They are petty, self-important tidbits that I know I will have eventually, but again..there's that word. The word that can not be associated with me...patience. I will learn patience.
My dedicated mantra for the day. I will have patience today with someone I didn't have patience with yesterday.
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no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 07:39 am (UTC)I just hate it when all the fun stuff winds up on the *same* weekend.
Still sore? [veg]
no subject
Date: 2005-06-22 09:11 am (UTC)yep, yep...still sore.
That's ok, I will make sure to extend a special invite the next time someone decides to have one.