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I am exhausted on many levels and for many reasons. I am still battling medical issues. They never seem to get any better and they don't get worse often. It's just a constant level of stress. Like a whining appliance, you hear it sometimes and it annoys the piss out of you, but to get on with your daily life, you learn to ignore the sound. I really just want a pain resolution that doesn't involve narcotics. If I could get that one thing down... my life would be amazing on that level.
I have two jobs that are both very simple and very demanding and stressful. I've mostly found ways of dealing with them both. Simply, I've decided that my entire job function is to support my aunt (boss #1) and my mother in law (boss #2). I feel constantly underappreciated at one job and over-appreciated at the other. You'd think it would be a nice balance but I'm so tired most of them time from both external and internal stressors that nothing feels in balance.
I'm also in the process of buying a house. I'm able to recognize the fact that people who do the same thing all day, every day aren't always aware that the people they are dealing with are not in the know with the process of a large purchase like this or the information required or the lingo for that matter. I have never even purchased a car from a dealership previous to this year. So this process is entirely confusing to me. The real estate agent didn't realize everything that I was going to have to pay with the type of loan I have and with the house being in a flood zone. I logically understand that he didn't possess the correct information to be able to relay that to me. The loan officer just seems like she has a lot going on in her business and both tries to keep up with me and forgets about me in equal measure. Also I can understand that. When I leave from one job and go to the other or when I go home, there is a serious disconnect and I don't remember a thing that happened all day for awhile. Again, logically I can understand or relate to the ineffective communication happening with this sale.
However... emotionally, I'm tired, pissed off and frustrated. No part of this has been joyful and exciting after the first house showing. We searched for houses for 3 months and it's been less and less fun as it's gone on. The only reason I settled on this house is because a friend of my sister's that I've known for 13 years practically is the one selling it and I genuinely don't believe she would try to fuck me over on the purchase. The house is nice, well kept, has a good layout and enough room for the both of us and more in the future (hopefully, but I'm not even going there). The only 2 things missing that I really wanted were a garage and a large back yard. I'll get over that. Especially if it means that this process will be over soon.
So then there's the "after I pick a house" phase. I wanted the seller to pay closing costs. Now between me and the girl selling the house, we worked up a decent compromise between the two of us. Her agent had some snide remarks for her about letting her do the work and to just backing off. Gave me a bad taste in my mouth for her. I don't want to pay the closing because I haven't saved that much money. Plain and simple. I have no down payment and no readily available cash. I walked into this deal knowing that and letting the agent know that as well. Well, now that we are working out the loan and closing kinks, I will end up having to pay close to $2900 on or before closing. What the fuck. And the whole time she's tell me this amount, she's saying "don't freak out!" and "We'll figure it out". Bah...too late. I'm freaking out. I don't need more stressful things in my life. I just don't.
Pain, anger, exhaustion, frustration, sadness and defeat are all emotions I've felt in the last 3 months. Joy can't even get a word in edgewise. Not that there aren't moments of happiness... there are. I just need for this to be over so I can deal with it.
Here's to moving in to my house by my birthday.
I have two jobs that are both very simple and very demanding and stressful. I've mostly found ways of dealing with them both. Simply, I've decided that my entire job function is to support my aunt (boss #1) and my mother in law (boss #2). I feel constantly underappreciated at one job and over-appreciated at the other. You'd think it would be a nice balance but I'm so tired most of them time from both external and internal stressors that nothing feels in balance.
I'm also in the process of buying a house. I'm able to recognize the fact that people who do the same thing all day, every day aren't always aware that the people they are dealing with are not in the know with the process of a large purchase like this or the information required or the lingo for that matter. I have never even purchased a car from a dealership previous to this year. So this process is entirely confusing to me. The real estate agent didn't realize everything that I was going to have to pay with the type of loan I have and with the house being in a flood zone. I logically understand that he didn't possess the correct information to be able to relay that to me. The loan officer just seems like she has a lot going on in her business and both tries to keep up with me and forgets about me in equal measure. Also I can understand that. When I leave from one job and go to the other or when I go home, there is a serious disconnect and I don't remember a thing that happened all day for awhile. Again, logically I can understand or relate to the ineffective communication happening with this sale.
However... emotionally, I'm tired, pissed off and frustrated. No part of this has been joyful and exciting after the first house showing. We searched for houses for 3 months and it's been less and less fun as it's gone on. The only reason I settled on this house is because a friend of my sister's that I've known for 13 years practically is the one selling it and I genuinely don't believe she would try to fuck me over on the purchase. The house is nice, well kept, has a good layout and enough room for the both of us and more in the future (hopefully, but I'm not even going there). The only 2 things missing that I really wanted were a garage and a large back yard. I'll get over that. Especially if it means that this process will be over soon.
So then there's the "after I pick a house" phase. I wanted the seller to pay closing costs. Now between me and the girl selling the house, we worked up a decent compromise between the two of us. Her agent had some snide remarks for her about letting her do the work and to just backing off. Gave me a bad taste in my mouth for her. I don't want to pay the closing because I haven't saved that much money. Plain and simple. I have no down payment and no readily available cash. I walked into this deal knowing that and letting the agent know that as well. Well, now that we are working out the loan and closing kinks, I will end up having to pay close to $2900 on or before closing. What the fuck. And the whole time she's tell me this amount, she's saying "don't freak out!" and "We'll figure it out". Bah...too late. I'm freaking out. I don't need more stressful things in my life. I just don't.
Pain, anger, exhaustion, frustration, sadness and defeat are all emotions I've felt in the last 3 months. Joy can't even get a word in edgewise. Not that there aren't moments of happiness... there are. I just need for this to be over so I can deal with it.
Here's to moving in to my house by my birthday.
