Confusion

[autumnluv143]

I sit quietly.
This is hard for me and you know it.
I want to buck out against what I know is going to happen anyway. I want to be able to sit there and take it. It's amazing to me that you can make me feel so many things all at the same time.

I feel like I'm getting ready to burst when I'm near you. My cunt is going to burst, my head, my soul...my heart.

Knowing and yet unsure, I wait for your command, your control..your voice. This could lead me in a hundred directions and you are so confident and sure of yourself. You know that I am going to be ok. This is both comforting and entirely intimidating.

I want to run from you and from all of this. I am shaking with fear and anticipation. How can someone feel this way and still pray that she have this feeling everyday returned to her?

I don't know you. I don't know who you are. I don't know where you're going to be next. I'm not scared of that.

I don't know me. You've led me down a path I've never been. You've managed to change me without my knowledge or consent and I'm only just realizing it. I don't mind that at all. I am scared of this territory. I am scared of having never tread this water. I don't know the temperature. I know you are there to catch me if I fall, but I'm too scared to find out for sure.

I love you. I look forward to this journey with fear and anticipation and love and understanding.

I'm so confused.

Comments

(frozen)

[sttatus-quo.livejournal.com]

(grins)
Sounds like someone's doing a very good job.

Patience really *is* a four letter word, isn't it?

(frozen)

[autumnluv.livejournal.com]

Amen.

[kdhunterjumper.livejournal.com]

Sounds like I should envy you :-) Hehe. I added you btw.

[dianagddss.livejournal.com]

Happy for you.

[autumnluv.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *smiles*

[http://users.livejournal.com/beth_/]

this was beautiful to read, and I can almost feel the anticipation, the joy, the bliss. :)

I've added you to my friends list; I hope that's okay.

(if you're the same autumn I know from rsvp ... hi; this is beth.)

Autumn....

[(Anonymous)]

Remember me? We had coffee at the IHOP last year. I often wondered what your real thoughts were when we briefly met and then.....as we met we drifted.
Interesting BLOG. I appreciate your candid humor and comments. Im here to tell you that you are alright.

Max