Oh boy...

[autumnluv143]

I've seen yet another email stating that someone is going to move and settle in another place around the country. I can't believe the devastation to begin with and then on top of that, what people I've come to know have decided that they just cannot wait to get to on with their lives. There is no telling how long all or parts of New Orleans will be out of commission.

I want to see my friends happy and rested again. I want to see them together, well fed and thinking not of what needs to be done next to get life back to normal, but thinking of where their next bit of fun will be.

And then I feel guilty. I feel guilty for alot of reasons. There wasn't much damage to my home and I'm not technically displaced with the exception of too many people living in my house without somewhere else to go. Maybe I am being selfish by not being there, but for the life of me, I can't imagine what good I'd be doing to them there. There is no power, no entertainment and everyone is stressed out. When my family is stressed I'm not the most pleasant of human beings. We know this.

I also feel guilty because I have a good possibility of landing a position and maybe even lodging and moving expenses in Colorado. It's an hour from my best friend and it's really a very different environment than the one I'm living in now. Southeast Louisiana has become a very stressed environment. I know I have it easier than most. I am staying with two fantastic people that are allowing me to remain calm and basically stress free. This is good and I thank them with all my heart. Now I need to tell my mother that I may be moving after all. I honestly believe that this task may be harder than telling "Him" that the situation that was otherwise perfect was not the one I could be in.

I feel guilty because I'm a hypocrite. I want everyone to get straight back to New Orleans the minute it reopens and I don't want them to be spread all over the country. That sucks. I'm selfish. But then again, I want desperately to take this opportunity and run with it. It's something that I've been waiting to open up for me and it will be good for me, if it happens at all.

bah..

Comments

[kikisub.livejournal.com]

I can very much understand your choice. Even though I was not from the storm-ravaged areas, life in my community and those surrounding has changed immeasurably. The influx of people from the New Orleans area has completely dried up the job market here and any prospect of getting out of this slave-pay, dead-end job is nil. My sister has been after me for years to move to Seattle and I am now seriously considering it. There are jobs there and it's a forward-looking, much more moderate area socially and politically. There's a large gay community there and the climate, while damp, is much more moderate than here because it's on the coast.

If you do choose to go to CO, please keep in touch. I'd love to come visit.

With respect and love,
Dixie

[beaten-grace.livejournal.com]

Don't feel guilty. We all need to do what is best for us, regardless of external circumstances.

For me, that will be getting back to Louisiana ASAP.