Letter From Walmart --Hilarious

[autumnluv143]

    DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........

After Mr. And Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
   accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men -- he found shopping boring
and
preferred to get in and get Out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most Women -- she loved to
browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5 minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in House wares - get on it right away."

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the Camping Department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the Bedding Department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting Department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

And last, but not least,

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

      Regards,

      Wal-Mart

Comments

[fake-accent.livejournal.com]

I'm going to Wal Mart, and doing all of this.... and maybe Target too. I like to get on the intercom, and serenade people late at night. It's funny.

[wolfaugen.livejournal.com]

OMG this is great!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing at the last one hehee I can so see several people pulling that one off!

[tsenre.livejournal.com]

Have been home with migraine today. The laughs from this were very much needed. By the way, I have done #2 & #10 at Wal-Mart before, I also wind egg timers and set off all the musical toys when possible. Was part of a triad once where K refused to go shopping with M & I both along, he and I would try to out pun each other and were once asked to leave a bank because he and I were pointing out cameras and exits to each other while she was making a deposit for her dad's company. It probably did not hurt(help?) we were both wearing trench coats and just look big and threatening. ahhh, life was fun then.

[alvonina.livejournal.com]

I've done scavenger hunts at walmart, two teams...needless to say there were two buggies full of random crap that had to be put away by employees. I did this twice, the third time we got kicked out :)

[alvonina.livejournal.com]

Oww laughing hurts..but thanks

[autumnluv.livejournal.com]

Numbers 11 & 13 freakin kill me. I've done 11 and me and the people in Electronics played Marco Polo almost every night.

[kjaereste.livejournal.com]

Oh the cornucopia that is Wal-Mart. One can't have nearly that much fun in other places.